Little Girl Lost

Well, I forget where one blog ends and another begins, especially with another waiting to be posted...it is okay to post a blog late, right? right. I am so glad to hear that you guys are enjoying reading about my adventures, sometimes I think they might be long, but there is just so much to write!

So, I am going to skip a bit of time because it will be posted later (promise!). I have been at La Ripa for exactly one week and two days and it feels like months. I do have some great stories for you, which I'll get to eventually, but first I want to share some reflections. See, while I am having a great time, I have learned that even Italy, bad days happen. Shocking right?! Who woulda thought? So with Claire gone almost a week I've had a lot of time alone. Yesterday was pretty rough, I prayed and cried and prayed. Today I recovered a bit.

Through prayer and a lot of time just wandering through mountain trails I've come to better understand how to rely completely on Christ for company. St. Catherine of Siena reclused herself for 3 years to get closer to Christ, surely I can do 2 weeks right? And of course, as always being at a low point brings me to deeper prayer. Deeper prayer brings answers. I'm not going to post them all for various reasons, but the biggest thing I've come to realize has to do with all of you, my friends and family. While God does want us to rely on him first, the human being was not meant to live a life in Him alone. Holy COMMUNion...COMMUNinty...coincidence, I think not. Okay, it sounds silly when you say it out loud and people have been telling me this constantly. But I am living it...while I have God (thankfully!), I now know that I NEED to share my faith with others.

AND! I won't preach on this long...but some of you know my "are generically good or really good" speal when asked how are you? I think it is interesting that the first thing you learn in a language is how to respond...with the answer good (bene). Do you know what message that sends?! It says...hey the world is too busy to care whats really going on, and don't worry if there is something going on, just hide behind a simple word and it will leave you alone. Given, its hard to learn your mood in another language, but that does not justify your native language, at least not with your good friends. If I ask, how are you? I usually really want to know. OKay, end of speal.

So, the stories, the "life wouldn't be the same if everything went right" stories. haha. Recent happenings: Somehow some of the horses are getting out at night and eating all the hay...urgh...which leaves me stumbling blindly in the dark to put them away because I have no glasses! We had our first guests which was interesting. But nothing worth writing about except one horse did not want to be bridled, there was a block in the trail and had to take a detour that led to many cobwebs and river jumping, and the intermediate riders were actually extreme beginners...interesting indeed.

Yesterday I went to the market alone for the first time (Details of the experience with Claire in the unposted blog) and fortunately found the right bus for the return home with my very broken Italian. On that bus thought I forgot to grab my bananas...ARGH! I tried to talk myself out of the frustration by not being attached to my forgotten fruit or the lost euros. I was partially successful. The walk from the bus stop to La Ripa is about ten minutes on a dusty road lined with flowers, walls, a cemetary and donkeys. One of my bags broke on this walk which was just sad. I must have looked like a movie character. Needless to say I rearranged everything, and made it home without my arms falling off. As I unloaded everything I found my bananas and promptly ate one...life was good again. Ridiculous right?! You have to understand though, it was one of those days where everything was going wrong, from spilled milk to hitting head on cabinet to horse being stupid, to other various little things that build up to a lot of frustration when one is lonely.

Side note: it is not a panic, depressed lonely, it is a I know I am loved by so many people and wish I could talk to them lonely.

I have learned the beauty of a Siesta...two hour nap in the afternoon. In my lonesome state it has been hard to motivate myself to work. Today, seeing how horses are my only form of entertainment I changed my mindframe from "must work" to "riding to escape being alone."...smartest move of my life. I decided instead of taking the same trail that I always take I'd meander on some new trails...which was beautiful!! There were vibrant blue dragonflies, lime green frogs, a squirrel, baby wild boar, tadpoles! even a big brown hawk bird! I started to relax and remember why I wanted to come out here, why I love riding, why I love nature, why I love silence...until everything started looking the same and I didn't know how to get home. That is when I decided that it is always better to explore the hills with a horse. I gave Belsito the reins and he took me home.

Lessons learned thus far:
Italian keyboards are different than American keyboards
Trying to light a match with wet hands is completely useless
A horse always knows the way home
I am blessed to have this opportunity to realize how much I used to take for granted (aka clear (not brown) hot water), and a car, and free grocery bags!
Having webs in your face every 5 minutes is not that bad...as long as no spiders come with them!

Oh yeah...I am starting to dream the Italian language...yikes!

So as I leave this note and start walking back to La Ripa...2 miles uphill the WHOLE way, know that I am grumbling that I can't breathe, hating the burn in my glutes and calves, and thoroughly content that for a brief while I was able to reconnect with you all. Thanks for your comments, they really made my day.

PS - did I mention that the way they make carbonara pasta in Rome is by cracking an egg of the pasta then baking it until the egg cooks?

PPS - if you have not read Pope Benedict's book The Apostles...you should...it has deifinitely given me motivation in my struggles...they struggled to, and have great lessons that we can all learn from!

Hugs and Prayers,
Tracie

Pictures and the absent blog will come soon as Claire gets back next week.