2 in 1

Folks, hold on for a novel! Two blogs in one coming right up!
First, to finish my last blog:

Okay, sorry I ended the last blog so abruptly! I did get most of it out though. On reflection, as I write this, I need to share a side note - Disclaimer: If I repeat anything, or leave out key ingredients, it is mostly because there is so much and in the days that pass I have no idea what I have shared and have not shared, journaled or blogged. Time at the internet is very limited, so I don’t take time to go re-read…but I am sure you guys don’t mind. If I remember correctly I left off at Mass yesterday. It was quite beautiful, especially with the singing, as I recall stating. I am really learning the parts of the Mass as I know it in the US – I am noticing the differences…they stand during the consecration here…or rather, at this parish, some sit, some stand, some kneel. Mass is definitely a participation of the heart.

Anyways, I had another unique “little town” Italy experience! YAY! Afterwards to celebrate Father’s 60th priesthood anniversary they had food. Ohhh food… Primo and Edna (an older lady that was with him) kept pointing and motioning for me to get some. It is very very difficult for me to say no when offered food. It reminded me a lot of student suppers in Fort Collins. There were lots of sandwiches, a homemade rice mixture with veggies of I have no idea what…tomatoes, some little green things (olives?) maybe, homemade chip snacks, and DESSERT! Oh, you have not lived until you have had dessert from the kitchens of parishioners in Iesa. Restraunt stuff is good, don’t get me wrong, but this stuff makes you go weak at the knees, you really have to smile as you take each bite!! I can not even begin to tell you what I had. I asked for one piece of cake. The lady took my plate and gave me a piece of everything…yeah I have no idea how to describe them or name them. One thing had blueberries, something tasted like pound cake, another tasted like tapioca vanilla brownies, all were soft, sweet…delicious, oh man my mouth is watering thinking of them.

And then (wrong order, I know) Primo had me have the rice mentioned above, and some sandwiches, and then cake, and then more and more. Italians really want you to eat up! I wish I knew culture better because in America it is more polite to say “no, thanks”…I feel like here to refuse food is an insult…they give it to you anyways! After two nights of no buono gnocchi I felt like I could have eaten half the food in that room…but after a large amount, the only way I could get Primo to stop giving me more or pointing for me to get more was to point at my stomach. Was I full really? No. I just haven’t quite grasped the concept of no stopping here in Italy. Well, and I still feel like a visitor and felt awkward eating so much good stuff in a parish I don’t really belong to. Everyone was nice though and welcoming, even if all I can say is “Ciao, como ti chiama, come stai?” (Hi, what is your name, how are you?)

When I moved to Colorado, my first few weeks on campus I felt like I had a giant neon pink sign above my head saying “HI! I’m from California, please don’t hate me” If I felt out of place then…like everyone was staring. If that was CO, then here I feel like I am a walking silver Christmas tree with flashing Vegas lights. I am sure it is obvious I am a foreigner! Except now I don't really care, just find it amusing. Regardless, I was grateful to experience a parish celebration, for Primo’s help, and God’s grace. I left with a smile on my face and a piece of cake in my lap for later. Yesterday was home away from home. Mass, being with God is always home…that is the beauty of Catholicism – it does not matter where you are, your soul can always rest at home on Sunday.

I keep talking about food…and eating it! I have decided it is a good thing I am doing so much physical activity…it is probably keeping me from gaining an extra fifty pounds. My pants still fit, so I must be doing good…haha. OH! And my huge accomplishment of nightly entertainment: I finally won a difficult level of Spider Solitaire. Folks…it can be done!

Well, Claire comes home on Wednesday, and I will be very happy to see her, I think at the same time though I am going to miss the challenges I had while working alone, relying on my own common sense and judgment. I officially know I am a people person, I do enjoy quiet time, but I don’t think I am designed to live in solitude for the rest of my life…only at special moments such as these two weeks…when I need a good kick in the butt. It has been really good to just be, to take naps, learn to cook, think of where I have been, where I am going and to give thanks to God for such a loving, supportive family including cousins, aunts and uncles, so many amazing friends, and extravagant experiences of life. Really…who am I to be here this summer? Thank you all so much for your love, support and comments.


Okay, from Monday or Tuesday, not sure which:

"The things you never thought you would need to know"

It is really amazing how different songs can have different memories. I am sitting here having just finished dinner, typing on Claire’s computer listening to my Ipod. A song from my very first CD just ended. Oh how I have changed since sixth grade! I remember that all those songs seemed to describe my life and I would play that one CD on repeat for weeks on end. The artist…don’t laugh now, is Savage Garden. As that song came to an end Don’t Stop Believing by Journey is playing…it reminds me of the trip to New Zealand I took over Christmas with my family and Doug Johnson. Why Doug Johnson? I have a feeling it has something to do with Awakening Retreat…or maybe because I know he loves Journey. Either way, these two memories pop into my head; I think I remember dancing on an empty dance floor to this song on the ship...

Anyways, I was thinking about my last blog…I was typing fast, trying to get everything down, that I have no idea if I told you guys half the things I wanted to share! I do know I wrote about my moldy gnocchi…I need to comment on that…it wasn’t moldy, it just smelled funny, and I hate to have food go to waste. Now, the ‘real’ Italian food that I have had is just simply good, not just because I am a cook in training. Speaking of being a cook in training…Vittorio has lent me an English Tuscan cook book! I am soo excited!! It is nice that there is actually time out here to learn skills such as cooking. By the end of next week I am going to learn where I can go to get fresh bread and prosciutto and veggies daily…watch out world! I’ll let you know how those kitchen adventures go...Claire agrees, we are going to publish a cookbook, including how to cauterize bloody chicken on a skillet.

Me, being me, as most of you know, I always overpack. For this trip I did not pack all the random extras. Bad choice. What do I wish I had? A few things…my leather gloves that I took out at the last minute, slippers, extra socks (Speaking of, I have never been more happy to have a pair of free airplane socks…despite the laughs…Thanks Alice!!) Ah, relating to the weather...if you all thought that Colorado weather was unpredictable…then clearly you have never lived in Italy for extended periods of time. It was cold today, cold, in the middle of summer in a supposedly hot area! I did not even pack a sweatshirt…silly! My mission? Find one in Siena. It is summer. I’ll let you know how that goes, haha.

You know the term “pouring buckets?” I must say, here it is not an exaggeration. It is hard to ride because sometimes it is cloudy without a drop of rain ever falling and other times it is sunny with clouds in the distance and within ten minutes there is a giant downpour and you are soaked head to toe. Today was in between – overcast with on and off drizzles. I took a portion of the afternoon to just sit and be, to absorb my surroundings under the setting sun and overcast sky. I found that sometimes we fail to slow down and appreciate life…even when isolated at a ranch in the mountains near Siena. As I sat, this is what I journaled: “…there is a certain peace here when you sit and no one is around. The sounds of horses moving about, eating hay (making horse noises), birds chirping and cooing, their wings flapping as they move from tree to tree; leaves rustling as the breeze passes through. The clouds are coming in – there is a slight chill in the air, the deer are coming out, the bugs finally gone – for now. This is a moment to stop, enjoy the atmosphere and thank God for blessings and difficulties – to be still and know, to just be.” Side note: The River by Garth Brooks is playing, bringing me back to girl scout camp in Idyllwild, CA…the song still has a lot of application to my life…keep trying, live life with adventure, “There’s bound to be rough waters and I know I’ll take some falls, but with the good Lord as my captain I know I can make it through them all.” I don’t know what song will remind me of Italy, but I know I will miss this time I have, despite falling on my butt over and over again! (Literally…it is hard to fight gravity with a wheelbarrow on hills…gravity usually wins and pulls me down the hill or I slip…I have a mighty deep purple bruise on my thigh, or two…or three…; and figuratively – I’ve had my own fair share of crying in further seeking to know myself and God in this solitude) It felt good to just be in the moment, in the stillness and think…wow, is this really real? It is.

On another note, speaking of growth…Anna helped me a bit with the horses today and she is starting to share more about her life. Through her I am learning more about myself, finding my faults and growing closer to God…she tests my patience and makes me aware of a pride I did not know I had…its hard to apologize to a twelve year old sometimes! Despite my often failing attempts at this personal growth, I also see an opportunity to be a positive influence, a mentor of sorts. (Thinking of my sister Megan as Le Poisson is playing…someone I also hope to have a positive influence on!)

Two days ago on a trail ride Anna started asking me about my faith and the simple and difficult question of “If God is love, why is there bad in the world?” I did my best to help her understand sin and human nature, a choice to choose love. Ironic now as she points out people who are nice and mean to her, who she likes and hates. She has not been taught the concept of forgiveness or “hate the sin, love the sinner.” She asked me today “Why is it bad to hate?” I thought of the movie Freedom Writers. I asked if she had heard of the Holocaust. Her answer was no. My heart fell heavy. I referred back to our earlier conversation, why do bad things happen – trying to use her hate as an example…I don’t think she was willing to accept what I was saying. I write this not to gossip or say anything bad about Anna, but as a request for prayer, advice, suggestions…as a statement to say how much I have taken a good education for granted. (And when it comes down to it…how much do I really know? I feel like I know a lot of generalities, no specifics…I couldn’t explain as much of the Holocaust as I wanted to…how sad, miserable is that?!) Have I come this far in life…a college graduate to realize too late how for granted I’ve taken SO much in my life?

I think in America there is more focus on getting good grades then actually learning. Hard work is a foreign concept. I have always considered myself a hard worker, but I guess I am really not…this job is kicking my butt!! And the Cambria kids work hard too! By work I mean helping with house chores – cleaning, cooking, feeding the animals, yard work, and then serving, cooking, cleaning, office work at Ferraria (vacation building). Between all that they do miscellaneous errands. Anna often helps me with barn chores. She is up at 6, working until 11 pm, with the exception of Siesta. I am usually in bed by 10/11, up at 7, but not working the whole time. I don’t know, I guess I’m just trying to say that pitchforking at least 9 wheelbarrows full of hay twice a day, riding 2-3 horses, carrying heavy buckets, and scooping poop all day is hard work that American kids today don’t experience. In the old days physical labor was a part of life, not a “chore”. Does that make sense? I really do feel like I have stepped back in time and I think I will be happy to rejoin the twentieth century in a few months.

OH! Last thing tonight, sorry I know I hop around…my brain goes faster than my hands. (It is now currently raining hard, lights flickering) The deer come every night to eat corn. There are about 9 or 10, two of which are males. Tonight there was a new addition…a little baby!! And let me tell you…it is sooooooo cute! Oh my…I definitely caught my breath when I saw it. Yay baby deer! And for those who know my “DEER!” Colorado story…I definitely think of Colorado often when feeding…fortunately…it is safe to yell “DEER!” here…and I definitely did my first night here. Now, I just smile and go about my chores.

Okay, bed time. Lessons of the day:
Over packing is a good thing, no matter how light you want to pack
America takes its wealth for granted
Sitting and being is sometimes the best medicine for the soul

Nothing of great humor, I guess I’m in a more “deep thinking” mood tonight.
Love you all so very much, thanks for supporting me and humoring me by reading my blogs and commenting; I appreciate the time you spend with me in this way!

Tracie